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I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.

If a man could have half of his wishes, he would double his troubles.

If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him.

If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed.

If you desire many things, many things will seem few.

If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosopher's stone.

If you would be loved, love, and be loveable.

If you would have a faithful servant, and one that you like, serve yourself.

If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.

If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write something worth reading or do things worth writing.