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If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk.

If there was less sympathy in the world, there would be less trouble in the world.

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In America the young are always ready to give to those who are older than themselves the full benefits of their inexperience.

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.

In married life three is company and two none.